He'll Take That To Go

It is well-known amongst my friends and family that I am a devoted fan of Starbucks. Venti Skim Nonfat Latte is my stimulant of choice. I do not indulge myself in this $3.65 plus tax treat every morning, but somehow, on the days I do, the birds sing a little sweeter, the sun shines a little brighter, and my eyes dart back and forth with greater speed. Caffeine is the great equalizer for those of us who are not morning people, and have to deal with freakily cheery folks who have been awake since 4:30, have done two loads of laundry, washed the car, painted the neighbor’s house and recounted the votes of the Iranian election – all before clocking in at the office at 9:00 a.m.

This morning’s visit to a local House of Morning Invigoration was an extra-special pleasure, because I saw something odd. One of those things that makes your little head turn to the side, your mouth open a bit wider, your eyes squint, and your mind think “huh?”. Here’s what happened….

I noticed that the guy in front of me in line was kind of cute. This is apropos of nothing, but an attractive man is always a happy sight. Said gentleman exited the store about 30 seconds before I did with what I imagine was the beverage that puts some extra bounce in his step. Once I left the store and proceeded to my vehicle, I noticed that Cute Man was parked directly to the right of my car. Now, here’s the thing……..his mode of transportation was a motorcycle. Assuming that it must be quite a feat to drive a Chopper while joyously downing an espresso drink, I slowed my walk to the car so I could continue the observation of the fellow who was no longer Cute Man, but Gee-He-Must-Be-Coordinated Man. A millisecond later, he became Somehow-Related-To-MacGyver Man. It was not his intention to move on down the road with handle bar in one hand and a hot drink in the other. His procedure involved the strapping of the Starbucks cup to the back of the bike!!! Next to a back-pack looking thing on the back of the bike was some kind of uber-cup holder.

By this time, since I didn’t have the nerve to walk up to him, lean over and learn the process by which his liquid libation was to be successfully transported, I had no choice but to get into my car and place my drink in the cup holder bequeathed to me by Honda. I peeked out the corner of my eye, but was unable to see what I wanted, a system that must have involved straps, duct tape, bungee cords and various widths of rope. Bummer. Like an obsessed dork, I tried to follow him once we both left the parking lot, but I lost him. I had SOOOOOOO many questions for him. For example: Dude, how did you do that? Dude, why did you do that? Are you really so late for work that you don’t have time to partake of your drink while still at Starbucks? Was this some kind of dare? How much spilled out? Are you single?

This, I suppose, is one of life’s mysteries that will never be solved. It will always make me go hhhhmmmmm. Especially since I confirmed with my motorcycle-riding boss that strapping coffee to the back of bike is NOT something you see every day.

I wonder what he does when it's his turn to bring in coffee for everyone in the office.............