Living With a Teenager

My son is 13. I thought briefly about simply using "13" as his alias here, but that is the nickname for Foreman's lesbian girlfriend on House. So........I'll call the boy The Eye Roller ("TER").

Upon entering middle school and subsequently turning 14-1, TER morphed from a respectful, helpful and sweet child into a mini-man who believes that every move I make and everything I say is stupid, oftentimes the "stupidest thing ever". Maybe he's right. Maybe:

1. All I ever do is laugh at him and take away his stuff.
2. I always tell him to shut up.
3. My suggestions will "never work".
4. It is my responsibility to remind him of everything.
5. I make him do everything around the house.

No. No. I'm pretty sure none of that is true. Yep, darn sure none of that is true. Can it be that hormonal changes on his part account for the radically different ways we now perceive things? If so, why has medical science not discovered a revolutionary hormone therapy for parents that allows them to effectively deal with these beings whose ailments also include Selective Hearing and Muttering Under The Breath?

Certainly, it could be worse. Things could always be worse. Perhaps I just have not had enough had time to acclimate to the changes that come with teenage boy-dom. Is there a class I can take?? I fear that this is a learn-as-you-go kind of thing. At present, though, it doesn't seem that I'll crack the code in the next 5.5 years. Yes, I'm counting down until he goes to college.....

Is it also wrong that I have made a chain of paper clips - counting the days until he goes to a week-long summer camp located several states away?